a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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