So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
