ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
