Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The struggles of a small town man whore
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
