singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
