Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize