good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
