Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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