Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
