how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
only you would photoshop your dick
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
