i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
