I wish I could punch you in the face.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
