doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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