tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
