the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
