i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
