Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
