My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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