I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
