If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
