He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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