maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
