Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
