We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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