we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
