it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
