Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
