worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
