His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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