at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
