We won't sleep together?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
