I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
