I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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