if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize