so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
