my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
only if we run a train.
done.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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