Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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