You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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