And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
