Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
