guys are not supposed to queef...right?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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