Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize