It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
