Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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