This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
