Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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