those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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