It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
