READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
