I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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