just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
