Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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