ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
