What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
