how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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