Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize