i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
