i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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