I looked at my own cervix.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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