Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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