Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
