is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
