I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize