i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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