FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
